How To Deal With Losing Friends After A Loss

When your world feels shattered, losing friends is one of the most painful things that can happen. Losing friends is never easy, especially after a loss. When you lose friends after a loss, it can be even more devastating and leave you feeling isolated. Friends are important in our lives, providing us with support, positivity and encouragement. Even though losing friends after a loss is not an uncommon experience, it still hurts quite a bit.

We need to understand that nobody is perfect or has the ability to be there for everyone all the time. Sometimes people drift apart from their friends for a variety of reasons that have little to do with them personally. However, this doesn’t mean that your friend will not come back into your life at some point in the future again or perhaps you might reconnect with them at another time in your life when circumstances are different again. Here are some tips on how to deal with losing friends after a loss:

How Important Are Friendships After Death

Grief comes in many shapes and sizes. It’s not just the sorrow you feel when someone dies; it can also be the pain of losing something – or someone – that you love, perhaps your job or a relationship, or even your home if you have recently been forced to leave it because of a natural disaster. Grief is also a response to any situation that feels overwhelmingly challenging and painful. In our everyday lives we experience both happy and sad moments.

There are times when we feel extremely happy and content, while other times we feel down or unhappy for different reasons. However, if the unhappiness becomes so overwhelming that it starts affecting your daily life and routine, then it’s time to take action and consider seeking professional help to manage your grief better.

FOUR WAYS FRIENDS CAN HELP DURING TIMES OF GRIEF

Check In

Talking through events and feelings can be hugely helpful, but only if you choose the right person. It’s important to find someone you can trust, who will listen to what you have to say without interrupting or judging you. This person should be someone you feel comfortable opening up to and allowing yourself to be vulnerable with.

Don't Try To Fix It

Most people will mean well when they try to provide advice and guidance. However, the problem with this is that it can take the focus away from you and put it on them – and that’s not helpful in any way. It’s okay to not know what to say, and it’s okay to not know how to help. All that matters is that you’re present and trying your best to be there for your friend.

Be Mindful Of Your Words

When talking to your friend, try your best to be mindful of your words. This means that you shouldn’t say things that you wouldn’t want to hear yourself. Be respectful of your friend’s feelings, and don’t try to minimize them or tell them that they’re being silly. You should also avoid saying things that are too heavy handed or might come across as unwanted advice.

Understand Not Every Friend Likes To Be Hugged

You might be thinking that hugs are a great way to comfort your friend, but not everyone likes to be touched, especially during a time of grief. Similarly, some people might be super appreciative of a hug, but others might find it too much. Consider the person’s mental and emotional state, and use your discretion depending on their needs.

COUNSELING & THERAPY

A trained therapist will help you to process your feelings and work through your emotions. Therapy is not a quick fix, but with time and dedication, you will learn how to deal with your grief better and find ways to live your life again, even if it feels impossible right now. A therapist will help you to explore your feelings and emotions, and they will give you the space you need to talk through your thoughts and experiences.

They will also help you to identify what your needs are and work toward helping you to meet them. While talking to a friend might help you to feel better in the short run, it won’t be as effective as working with a trained professional.

RESPITE CARE

Sometimes friends and family members go above and beyond to help you, which can be admirable and kind. However, it can also be too much for you and others. You are not a burden and shouldn’t feel guilty for needing help. If you find yourself feeling exhausted and overly stressed because of the support you are receiving, then it is time to take action, and consider asking for a break from the people around you who are putting in so much effort.

If you have friends or family members who are trying to do everything they can to help you with your grief, consider asking them to take a step back and let you take some time to go through your healing process at your own pace.

A LISTENING EAR

You don’t necessarily have to be involved in the grief process to offer support – a listening ear is just as helpful. Be there for your friend, and be patient with them as they go through their process. Some people find it easier to open up in written form, while others prefer to talk. No matter what your friend’s preferred method of communication is, be there for them whenever they need you and are ready to open up.

Sometimes, all a person needs is someone to listen to them without judgment and without offering advice. Your friend might not know what to do or feel overwhelmed. You might even be the person who needs a listening ear from time to time.

HELP YOU FIND MEANING & PURPOSE

When someone is grieving, it can be easy to get caught up in the pain and sadness of the situation and lose sight of the greater meaning behind it. While it is important to acknowledge the pain you are feeling and process your emotions, it is also important to keep your eyes on the bigger picture. You can do this by asking yourself questions like – Why did this happen? What can I learn from this? What kind of legacy am I creating? What do I want my life to look like moving forward? What can I do to create a positive impact on the world?

These are just some of the questions that you can ask yourself in order to help find meaning and purpose in your life again. It might feel impossible right now, but healing happens at its own pace and with time you will find yourself again.

CELEBRATE LIFE

There is no better way to deal with grief than to keep your eye on the prize – which is celebrating life. While it is important to acknowledge your feelings and not try to push them away, you also need to acknowledge that life goes on and there are many beautiful things in this world.

If you have been grieving for a long time without taking time out to celebrate life, then start now. Create a list of things that bring you joy, and try to do them as often as you can.

Why People Lose Friends After A Loss

 We all know that losing a loved one can be incredibly painful. It can also have a long-lasting impact on our lives in ways that may not be immediately obvious. Even though you may feel like your friends will understand exactly how you’re feeling, the sad truth is that they don’t. That’s because losing someone you love can change the way you interact with other people forever.

In fact, statistics show that the death of a loved one is one of the most common reasons why people lose their friends after they experience something so tragic and devastating. Why does this happen? Well, there are many reasons for this, but it mostly has to do with the way we react to grief, which changes as time goes by. Let’s take a closer look at these factors and see what can be done to avoid losing friends after a loved one dies

GRIEF CHANGES THE WAY WE BEHAVE

We all know that grief can take a serious toll on people, and that it comes with a wide range of emotions that people need time to process. However, these changes can have a negative impact on our relationships with other people if we don’t work on adjusting to these changes. For example, having a loved one die will likely make you more anxious, impatient, and stressed.

If you remain in this state of mind for too long, it can become very difficult to get along with people who don’t share your experiences. As time goes by, you may find that your friends are growing frustrated with your new way of behaving. Some of them may even feel that you’re being unfair by treating them the same way you would before your loved one died.

THE IMPORTANCE OF COMFORT

In cases where a person loses a loved one and is still mourning them, their friends will most likely try to offer comfort. What most people don’t realize is that this is an incredibly difficult thing to do for someone who is grieving. This is why many people will often simply avoid offering comfort in favour of being careful not to say the wrong thing. The problem with being careful not to offer comfort to a grieving person is that it makes it more difficult for them to heal.

This is because grieving people need to express their feelings in order to heal. If they don’t feel comfortable talking to you about their feelings, they may feel trapped and sad. If you are mourning a loved one, you need to make sure that your friends understand this and offer you a safe space where you can talk about your loved one.

YOU BECOME MORE RECLUSIVE

When you lose a loved one, you often become reclusive in an effort to avoid the sadness that comes with thinking about them. You may also want to avoid social interaction in general because you don’t feel like dealing with other people while you’re mourning. You may also feel annoyed by the fact that your friends don’t seem to understand your grief. This can make you even more reclusive, which in turn makes you a bad friend to those around you.

It’s important to remember that your friends aren’t trying to annoy you. They just don’t know how to help you. Not only can reclusiveness make your loved ones feel isolated, but it can also cause you to miss out on experiences that can help you heal. If you’re feeling reclusive, it’s important to talk to someone about what you’re going through. This can help you emerge from your reclusive state and can even make it easier for you to spend time with your friends again.

YOUR LOSS MAKES PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE VULNERABLE

When you’re dealing with the loss of a loved one, you may find that you’re suddenly treated with more care, understanding, and compassion. This can be a very nice thing for the people in your life, but it can also make you feel like you’ve become more vulnerable and dependent on others. One of the reasons why people lose friends after a loved one dies is because they feel like they have to be extra careful not to offend, upset, or upset them.

While compassion is something that you should definitely appreciate, it also means that there may be nothing you can do to avoid being treated like you’re more vulnerable than before. People who are grieving often feel sad, anxious, and overwhelmed. If you’re feeling like this, be sure to talk to your friends about it. They might not understand what you’re going through, but they can definitely help you feel better.

YOU ANGER PEOPLE BY NOT PARTICIPATING IN ACTIVITIES THEY ENJOY

Another reason why you might lose friends after a loved one dies is because you end up angering people by not participating in activities that they enjoy. Most people want to help you heal, which is why they may try to include you in their favourite activities. This can be a nice gesture, but it can also anger you if you don’t want to engage in those activities.

If you feel pressured to do things that you don’t want to do, you may begin to resent your friends for not respecting your grief. This can make you feel like you don’t have any good friends left. It’s important to remember that grieving takes time and that you don’t need to jump back into your old activities right away. Your friends should understand this, but they may not. Try talking to them about what you’re going through and explain that you need some time to heal.

CHANGE IN THE WAY YOU VIEW RELATIONSHIPS

When you lose a loved one, it can affect the way you view relationships in general. You may start to feel like you have a shorter fuse, or that you’re more sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. When your loved one dies, you may also experience a shift in how you view other people. For example, if you lose a spouse or a child, you may start to feel like you don’t have time for your friends or that they don’t understand what you’re going through. This can lead to you losing friends after a loved one dies because you start to push them away without realizing it.

It’s important to remember that you’re going through a lot, and that your friends want to help you. If you notice that your relationships are changing after a loved one dies, try to be more aware of your actions and try to slow down. This will help you avoid losing your friends.

How Friends Can Assist During Grieving

After losing a friend, you may feel like you’ll never recover. You might be scared of moving on because you miss them so much. There are so many unanswered questions that keep you up at night. How can you go on after the loss of a friend? There is no easy way to cope with the death of a friend. In fact, it is probably one of the most painful experiences anyone can go through in their life.

However, as time goes by, things will get better—you just need help getting there. Friends are your source of strength during trying times; they pick you up when you’re down and give you hope when things seem bleak. It is this hope that propels us forward into our new future; one without our dear friend by our side. But how exactly do we move forward? Here are 8 ways friends can assist with grieving:

COME TOGETHER FOR SUPPORT & COMFORT

Death is a very solitary process. You may feel completely isolated as you go through this, but your friends can help with that. Being there for each other is a sign of strength, not weakness. It’s easy to feel ashamed when you need others to get you through something, but don’t. Let your friends know if you’re struggling.

Don’t try to deal with it alone because you won’t be able to. You might also be able to help your friends as they grieve too. The death of a friend can be just as painful as the death of a family member or spouse, so be there for each other.

HELP YOU ORGANIZE & ATTEND THE FUNERAL

Friends can assist with grieving by helping you organize the funeral or memorial service. This can be a very trying time, but it’s also an opportunity to celebrate your friend’s life.

You can also attend the funeral if you’re unable to organize it yourself. If the situation is too overwhelming, don’t feel like you have to do everything. There are professionals who can help with the arrangements. You might even feel relieved to have someone else take charge.

HELP YOU REGAIN YOUR SENSE OF SECURITY

You might feel like the world is a dangerous place after losing a friend. You may even feel like you can’t trust anyone. Friends can assist with grieving by helping you regain your sense of security. They can remind you that the world is still a beautiful place. It is also a place full of kind people who care about you. You just need to open up and let them in. Let your friends help you feel safe again.

SHOW YOU THERE IS STILL BEAUTY IN THIS WORLD

Life will go on after your friend’s death, but it might seem like nothing will ever be the same again. You might not even want to get out of bed because you feel completely lost and hopeless. Your friends can help you see the beauty in this world once more.

Your daily routine might seem meaningless without your friend. It is during these times that your friends can help by getting you out of the house and into nature. This can help you regain your sense of wonder in the world.

HELP YOU FIND CLOSURE & ACCEPTANCE

There will come a time when you must accept the loss of your friend. However, you might not be ready to do so. Friends can assist with grieving by helping you find closure. You might have a lot of unanswered questions that are keeping you up at night.

You might feel like you’ll never fully recover because you haven’t resolved everything. Friends can help you find ways to accept your friend’s death. It may not be easy, but it is necessary for your own well-being.

OFFER A SENSE OF COMPANIONSHIP

Life goes on even after your friend passes away. Your friends can assist with grieving by offering a sense of companionship. They can help you get through your day-to-day activities and distract you from the pain you may be feeling. You might feel like you don’t have the strength to keep going. Your friends can help you keep moving forward towards the new normal you’ll find yourself in.

ASSIST WITH REGAINING YOUR SENSE OF SELF

You might feel like you’re losing a part of yourself as you go through the grieving process. You may feel like you’ve lost your identity because the person you were with your friend is now gone. Friends can help you regain your sense of self by getting you out of the house, doing something you love, and making new memories. You have been through a traumatic experience, so you need to take it easy. It’s okay to take a step back from your regular activities and focus on yourself for a little while.

How To Cope When Friends Treat You Different After A Death

When someone you care about dies, it’s normal to feel sad and miss them. Friends might not know what to say or how to act around you. This can make things awkward for everyone involved. In order to ease the situation, some friends might distance themselves from you without thinking of your feelings. This is because people react in different ways to death and they don’t always know how to support those who are suffering through it.

However, once the initial shock of your friend’s death wears off, your friends will hopefully begin acting like themselves again and resume their friendship with you. Think about how you would react if a similar situation happened to you. Reaching out as soon as possible will help alleviate awkwardness between the two of you moving forward. Read on for tips on handling this sticky situation:

BE HONEST

If your friend is giving you the cold shoulder, it’s okay to tell them that you’re hurt. It’s understandable that they might be hesitant to approach you. Death is a scary thing and it’s easy to feel like there’s nothing you can say or do to help someone who is going through it. However, it’s important to let your friend know that you’re hurt by their distance. Let them know that you’re open to talking about the death if they need to, but you also want them to know that you’re hurting and wish they would show their support for you.

LET YOUR FRIENDS KNOW YOU NEED THEM

If your friends are hesitant to talk about the death with you, let them know that you need to talk. People handle death in different ways. Some like to talk about it while others prefer to keep their feelings bottled up inside. Knowing how your friends prefer to cope with death will help you decide how to approach the situation. If you know your friends like to talk about death, feel free to start the conversation. You can let them know that you appreciate them not ignoring the situation, but that you would really benefit from talking about it.

DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY

Death is scary and sometimes people react by wanting to distance themselves from it. This can cause friends to avoid the topic and you. They might not realize how their distance is affecting you. If you notice your friends are keeping their distance from you, don’t take it personally. Instead, try talking to them about the death. Let them know that you want to discuss it because it’s something you’re going through and you want to talk about it. Your friends might be hesitant to bring up the subject because they don’t know how to support you in the best way. Letting them know that you want to talk about it might help open the door to support from them.

SET BOUNDARIES

Death can be a sensitive subject. When your friends do want to talk about it, it’s important to set some boundaries. Don’t let the conversation get too intense. Let them know that you appreciate their support and the conversation, but that you might need to end it at any given moment. You don’t have to explain why, just that you need to stop talking about it for now. Similarly, don’t feel pressured to bring up the subject. If you don’t want to talk about it, let your friends know that, but also let them know that you appreciate them wanting to support you.

SUGGEST GETTING TOGETHER SOON

Moving forward, it’s important that you don’t let the awkwardness linger. Suggest getting together with your friends soon. Let them know that you’d like to catch up and get back to the way things were before the death. Suggest meeting up at a public place or inviting them over to your house.

Depending on when your friend died, it might take a while before you’re both ready to get together. That’s okay. Suggest getting together soon, but don’t make any plans if you’re not ready yet. Before you get together, try to ease your own anxiety about the situation. Talk to a therapist about how to approach the situation. Having someone to talk to can help you relax before you meet up with your friends.

Losing Friends Frequently Asked Questions

Why do you sometimes lose friends after suffering a loss?

Losing someone that you loved has a profound effect on you. Friends may not realize the extent of your grief or may simply how best not to help. Your grief can be mistaken as a withdraw from the friendship which can leave them feeling confused and hurt.

Should you try to hold on to friends that pull away during your time of grief?

Friendships are generally worth trying to save - especially when you pull away during times of grief. Do your best to be patient and be there and be a source of support in the days and months ahead.

How can I support my friend that is grieving?

If your friend is giving you the cold shoulder, it’s okay to let them know that you're struggling on how best to be there for them. Sometimes all it takes is an honest conversation to let your friend know you are there for whatever they need. Let them know that you’re open to talking about the death if they need to, but you also want them to know that you’re hurting and wish they would show their support for you.

Is it okay to just go sit and be with my friend?

Yes! Sometimes just being a source of comfort and companiosnhip with your friend is all that is necessary. There doesn't have to be a lot of talking - sometimes just sharing space will help them feel not so alone.

Holding Onto Our Friends When We Are Grieving

When we lose a friendship, it can be easy to focus on all the negatives. You may be thinking, “This person really let me down!” and “They were supposed to be my friend!” However, it’s important to keep a positive outlook. You don’t want to let one bad experience sour you on all friendships. Instead, focus on the positives.

Think about all the great friends you have in your life and how lucky you are to have such wonderful people in your life. You don’t want to lose sight of all the great friends in your life because of one bad experience. Give yourself and your friend some honesty and grace during the difficult moments ahead.

December 19, 2022 by Frances Kay