Everlasting Memories Blog About Life, Loss and Everything In Between
The last few days of 2018 are here - hard to believe the year is coming to a close. It was a year filled with a lot of successes for this girl. And a year that is not closing out the way in which I thought it would. Some of it good, some of it heartbreaking. I grew a lot this year and am forever grateful for that growth.
I am a huge advocate of setting goals for yourself every year. I think it’s important to set your sites on how you can take the lessons of the last year and grow from them, always working to better yourself and live a life of purpose. A life that is fulfilled and challenges you. And in order to have a clear picture, taking a look back at the goals that you set for yourself is imperative to help you move forward into the next year.
Lucky for me I have my goals for 2018. My list of 7 rules from which I wanted to live my life by in 2018. So before I give you my rules for 2019, allow me to reflect on my successes and my failures of the past almost 365 days. Let’s see if I walked the walk and talked the talk and was able to accomplish what I set out to do.
2018 7 Rules To Live By
No Part Time People.
I didn’t want to give part time people a full time position in my life. I don’t know if it has to do with age or what, but I reached the point in my life where if you don’t want to be there and bring positivity and light to my days - see ya. Life is short and I simply don’t have time for people that want me to be there to be their personal sounding board and receiver of constant complaints. I knocked this one out of the park.
Begin and end my days with gratitude.
I have struggled with this one. I think that being grateful is a choice and there are days when the choice to wallow in my personal struggles and challenges has won out over being grateful. Don’t be surprised to see some version of this on my 2019 Rules.
I get an A+ for this one. Have hands down taken charge of my health this year. Been checked up, checked out, seen by all kinds of doctors and been given a clean bill of health. 47 is the new 40, right? If you haven’t had a physical or taken care of getting health insurance (you know who I’m talking to) or had the odds and ends taken care of - put it at the top of your list for 2019. Our most valuable asset is our health.
Whereas I struggled with this initially and had some bumps in the road, I have to say that I am finishing out the year in a pretty good place with this rule. Not a perfect science for sure, I have come a long way with choosing to be indifferent rather than engage. Doesn’t mean I’m above a snarky comment here or there with a trusted soul sister but for the most part, live and let live.
Making a difference.
I could go either way on this one. I would like to think that through my writing I have made a difference. That I have impacted a life here or there, caused someone to stop and pause. Brightened a day. Been a catalyst for healing. Regardless, this will rule will totes be a carryover to the upcoming year.
More face time, less screen time.
Probs a low C on this one. Like a C-. Kind of ebbs and flows but without question I could use far less time attached to my phone.
Let it go, let it go.
I wouldn’t say that I have let things go so much as my focus has changed. My life has changed. My wants and must haves and direction has changed considerably. There have been things that I consciously let go but because life is in charge of life, there are things I have let go that I didn’t even realize I had let go. And what that tells me is that I was holding onto things that truly in the big scheme of things - really didn’t matter. I’ll give myself a B+/A- and let it go.
6 Directives for 2019
I changed things up a little for 2019 - chose directives for the upcoming year in lieu of rules. By definition, a directive is something that is intended to guide, govern or influence. And that’s perfect for what my intent is in the next 365 days of my life.
Directive 1. In 2019, I will live my life with purpose.
What does that mean? Live life with purpose? It means a little something different to everyone but to me, it means to live your life to the fullest. What drives you to wake up in the morning? What gives your life meaning? What in your life makes you smile? Makes you feel loved? What legacy do you want to leave behind when you go? When you are living your life with purpose you are living the answers to those questions. I am all in.
Directive 2. In 2019, I will spend more time outdoors.
I am an outdoors girl. And in the past decade I have spent less and less time enjoying the beauty of the outdoors. Sure, I do some gardening and what not. But I haven’t gone on a hike in I can’t tell you how long. Hit the ski slopes in decades. Sat outside and read a book in forever. Taken a walk, sat on the beach, you name it. And for me personally, being outside is like instant happy. It costs me nothing but time and I can find time in my day to get outside.
Directive 3. In 2019, I will downsize.
No, I’m not moving. Although some people in our town will be sad, we are here for a little while longer. But I need to do some downsizing. In the basement. Around the house. In our closets. And within personal areas of my life. All this space that is filled up with things that don’t matter, that are roadblocks in the path of me living with more purpose - I need to downsize, make less room for the unmatterables. So that there is room for the things that do matter.
Directive 4. In 2019, I will focus less on what if’s and more on why not’s.
I am going to rearrange my focus in this upcoming year to worry less about the what if’s in life and focus more on the why not’s. The countless hours and time that we waste, wondering what if something happens what are we going to do? And all that time agonizing and stressing over a what if would be so much better spent engaging in a why not. Why not go outside and take a break from work? Why not eat the burger and fries? Why not blow off a stuffy dinner party and go on a date with my husband? I am focused on enriching my life with more opportunities to live than to number my days by things that might or might not transpire.
Directive 5. In 2019, I am going to have more gains and fewer setbacks.
I learned a lot this year. And much of what I learned set me back a little bit. I second guessed myself, I didn’t trust my instincts, I was flooded with self-doubt. Not in 2019. I am taking it back. I am going to see gains this year. Gains in the gym. Gains in my self-confidence and my awareness. Gains in my attitude and my bank account. And I am going to face those setbacks not as setbacks but as brick walls that are meant to be smashed into little tiny pieces.
Directive 6. In 2019, I am going to grow from a place of gratitude.
I have said it time and time again, when we are growing from a place of gratitude we are focused on our haves - not our have nots. And every day that we wake up and have the opportunity to LIVE - that is something to be grateful for. Every day we are given the gift in making a difference, in living our life with passion, of achieving magnificent things. And with gratitude comes joy. Happiness. Fulfillment. Again - this girl is ALL IN!
Bring on the New Year
There is a vast difference between setting goals and setting rules from which to live your life, directives to help you achieve more from your days. I am a believer in the importance of both. Rules and directives serve as an overall guide to help you attain the goals that you set for yourself - kind of like the manual that you get when you buy a car but with not as many pages and simplified.
I encourage you to do it. Give yourself an hour and a cup of coffee and look back over 2018. What would you do different? What did you knock out of the park? What changes can you make to help you get more from your days? Live life with arms a little more wide open?
Write them down and make them tangible. Share them with someone you trust and ask them to help keep you accountable. Again, I’m not talking about adding 20 lbs do your deadlift - I’m talking about life rules. Directives to help you become a better version of you. A contributor. A better human being.
And when you turn that page to 2019, do so with the knowledge that you are taking with you what you learned in 2018. Not to beat yourself up for the things that didn’t go as planned but secure with the lessons learned and a passion to move forward in a positive direction.
So see ya later 2018! And 2019…COME ON DOWN!