Time For A Gut Check

Time For A Gut Check

Posted by Hallie S. on Jul 27th 2018

Well, my peepers, we are almost at the end of July. Seriously I can’t believe it. August begins next week and that is the turnaround point for a lot - summer winding down and school ramping up, moving out of the house for students and into dorms, start of fall sports, so on and so forth. Needless to say, the days and the months are flying by at a record pace and we are already just past the halfway point of 2018. And you know what that means…It means it’s time for a gut check.

Yeah, it’s time to take a step back, clean your lens and look at your first six months of 2018. Take a peek-a-boo at the goals that you set for yourself, the rules that were set forth and take stock of where you’re at. Were some of them not attainable? Were some of them TOO attainable? Have you held yourself accountable? What can you do better? What do you need to change? How have the past six months changed you?

It’s important to stop and pause and look back. If you haven’t seen any change, everything has remained status quo - I don’t personally consider that a great thing. That means that there hasn’t probably been any growth, any evolving. And we should always be growing and evolving and continually working towards being a better version of ourselves. A better parent. A better friend. A better human being.

My Rules for 2018

Those of you that actually read my blog, all two of you, y’all know that I’ve seen lots of change. Lots of growth. Lots of excruciatingly painful evolving. Some good. Some pretty rotten. But good or bad, it has brought about change. I’m all about walking the walk and talking the talk so I actually went back to the 7 rules that I created for myself for 2018 and took inventory of where I’m at and where I still need to go. It was eye-opening, humbling for sure and so worth my time. If just one of you takes the time to do so, take a look back at what you wanted from the year and does some re-evaluating, a little bit of personal lens cleaning - well that would make my day!

Rule 1 - I will not give part time people a full time position.

I gotta say I think I’ve done a pretty adequate job on this rule. I have stopped investing so much of myself in those that are mainly interested in investing in themselves and not my life. Not to say that I need to be the center of anyone’s universe - not at all what I mean. But I have stopped giving life to those relationships that bring me down - family, friends, acquaintances. Mind you, I was THAT friend this spring. The months of May, June and July were hard. So much of my life was consumed with heartache that even I didn’t want to be around me. And I had so many amazing people that stuck by me, letting me have my moments and then nudging me back in the right direction. And I’m forever grateful for my tribe - tells me I’ve chosen wisely.

Rule 2 - I am going to start and end my day with gratitude.

I need to work on this one more. When life hands you lemons and then keeps delivering lemons to your doorstep daily and then you find that you are living, breathing, existing with lemons - it’s super hard not to turn a little sour. I don’t care if it kills me, I am going to keep striving to making the sweetest lemonade out of those darn lemons. Gratitude is vital to our happiness, to our well-being, to our psyche. I won’t stop working towards training my brain and my heart to feel grateful for my haves instead of focusing on my have not's.

Rule 3 - I am going to take better care of my health.

Knocking this one out of the park. I have doctor appointments scheduled (am in fact going to one of them today), I have upped my water intake and upped my cardiovascular activity to hopefully set a foundation for getting marathon ready. I’ve leaned out a little and am close to my goal weight although I am a believer in not basing my health off of a number on the scale. But I have taken charge of my health in the past six months and will continue along that path.

Rule 4 - I am going to find my indifference.

Eh…Probably would rate about a C- on this one. I still have a hard time turning the other cheek and rising above. I have grown a bit in that area in the past three months, the month of July in particular, and continue to hope that I can learn better ways of not letting negativity have such an impact on me.

Rule 5 - I am going to make a difference.

I would hope that I going about this rule in a positive way. I do so believe that living a life of service, working towards having a positive impact on one another, our families and our community - that it is life changing, vital to our growth personally and as a group of people. Like breeds like and we’ve all been there when someone’s small gesture of kindness towards us has completely turned our day around. I have tried but I know I can do more. And I’m 100% committed to doing so.

Rule 6 - I’m shutting down my screen.

Oh boy…I must’ve completely blanked out on this rule. I really need to disconnect more from my phone. Like a lot more. Actually, I probably need to delete Candy Crush from my phone for starters. I need to work on this in the next month because the need to have my phone on me will increase when my troll babies leave for school. In the meantime, there needs to be more of a focus on quality time instead of screen time. I’ve been lax with myself and lax with the trolls. Should go over like a lead balloon with the three of them.

Rule 7 - I am letting go.

Wow. This just brought me to tears. I am holding on so tight. Too tight. And I’ll tell you - it is 1000 times harder than I ever thought it would be. You think you give them all the tools for their tool box and when they abandon all those tried and tested tools for tools of their own - for me it was devastating. Mind boggling. Driving all over the state, choosing friends and other families over their family, standing up for what they believe in, articulating their thoughts like an adult, marching forward and not looking back over their shoulder because they are so confident in the direction they are going. It’s what you work so hard for as a parent but when it happens I think it’s one of those things that you are most unprepared for.

What have I learned

There was so much value in going back and taking a look at where I was in January and where I am now. And I’m grateful that I did it because there were lessons to take from it.

You have to fail to grow

Really the worst part of growth is the failure. But the only way that we truly grow is when we fail and fail again - only to rise up and keep trying. Each failure is a lesson in itself and if we continue to listen to those lessons, learn from those lessons, change from those lessons than we will grow.

I don’t have all the answers

If I learned one thing thus far it’s that I don’t have all the answers. I had to listen to a few compadres, really hear what they were saying to me in order to pull myself out of the hole I was in. What they told me went against what I believed in but for where I was at at that point in time, it was the best solution to the challenge at hand. We have to be willing to sometimes trust our most trusted.

Surrounding yourself with positivity is necessary

I have removed much of the negativity from my life and I have found that keeping that positive energy around me like a blanket has been transforming. You are the company that you keep and my tribe, my community is pretty awesome. I’ve deepened some friendships, let go of a few and in general, worked hard at keeping an upbeat and positive outlook.

Our health is our most important asset

Peepers, don’t underestimate the importance of your health. Yearly physicals and blood work, dental cleanings, eye appointments, that spot on your back that looks like a bruise, aches and pains that aren’t normal - get it taken care of. You don’t realize how great you feel until life throws you a curve ball. Yes, going to the doctor is annoying. Couldn't agree more. Thousands of other things I’d rather do than get poked and prodded and examined. But that’s a part of the package, a minor inconvenience in the big scheme of things.

Gut Check 2018

I have some things to turn around, some things to do a little differently. I have some significant changes on the horizon in August and I’m determined to tackle them with arms wide open. Embrace the change. The changes are going to happen regardless of my attitude so I’m going to approach the change with an attitude of gratitude as best as I possibly can.

I have a pretty amazing group of friends, real friends, good friends. Women that I know would fight for me, hold me accountable, uplift me and challenge me, show me grace and give me space, love me when I'm completely and totally unlovable. Add in my brother and a few close male friends that I love like brothers and you've got yourself a tribe. It’s not a perfect tribe by a long shot but I’d stack it against the best. I’m going to do what I can to make a difference, be the friend that so many of them have been to me.

My Rob and I haven’t been just Rob and Hallie since March 7, 1999 and I am so excited to see what the future holds for us when come the afternoon of September 3, 2018 - we will be empty nesters. It’s going to take some adjusting for sure but those adjustments are part of the journey, part of the fun for us with figuring out our new normal. And we will do so as we’ve done for 20 years - side by side, together.

And those little trolls of mine - they are embarking on exciting things. College applications, a little more freedom at college, living away from home and finding independence. We have worked so hard to give them this life, these choices, these incredible opportunities. Sacrificed and went without so that they could HAVE. I wouldn’t change a single minute of it because they are doing great things. Realizing failures and rising from those failures. Achieving great success. Remaining humble and grounded in our core values as a family. And, at the end of the day, there is no greater reward, no better ‘thank you’ than that.

Take stock in where you’re at. What do you need to change? What can you do better? What IS working and how can you maximize the benefit? Y'all got just over five months left in 2018. Maximize the potential of each day and treat it as if it’s your last chance to make 2018 your best year yet!